


these kids are fools and I love them

by justjoshinya



Category: Until Dawn (Video Game)
Genre: Group chat, Help, Other, also like, do i really care at this point, everyone lives ig, hey hpw about i write some stupd shti, i was just really bored and was like, idk how to tag, idk what tthe fuck thsi is honestly, josh plays fortnite, no, not really - Freeform, texting fic, theres probably like a billion ud group chat fics but i mean, you cannot change my mind
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-13
Updated: 2019-04-13
Packaged: 2019-06-26 16:19:55
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 3,513
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15666819
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/justjoshinya/pseuds/justjoshinya
Summary: until dawn group chat fic i wrote bc i was bored and sad yeehaw





	1. idk man

**Author's Note:**

> idk what the hell this is bfhsdbjfmndskjfd

Josh wash is now online

Josh wash: hey  
Josh wash: who wants to come over and play fortnite l8r

Mikey boy is now online 

Mikey boy: what even

Josh wash: whats there not to understand about fortnite michael 

Mikey boy: no,,,, just,,,,,,, why

Josh wash: oh are you saying I'm not allowed to have some quality time with my quality bros?

Mikey boy: literally not what I was saying but go off I guess 

Josh wash: mike you meme loving fuck

Mikey boy: at least im not the one who invited everyone to play fortnite 

Josh wash: low blow mike  
Josh wash: low fucking blow

Cochise is now online 

Cochise: what the fuck

Josh wash: Im the fuck  
Josh wash: ;)

Cochise: what does this mean im so scared 

Mikey boy: oh you know ;)

Cochise: are,,,,,  
Cochise: are you guys okay?

Mikey boy: honestly  
Mikey boy: no

Josh wash: lmao tru dat  
Josh wash: but you guys arent answering my question  
Josh wash: do u wanna play fortnite w me

Mikey boy: I don't know how to play it  
Mikey boy: I am a failure 

Josh wash: bro,,,,, I can teach you the ways of fortnite 

Mikey boy: bro,,,,,,,

Josh wash: chris  
Josh wash: my man  
Josh wash: u in?

Cochise: do I look like I know what a fortnite is or how to play it

Josh wash: I mean  
Josh wash: yea

Cochise: ok wow  
Cochise: that is actually the meanest thing anyone ever said to me

Mikey boy: chris we have literally played fortnite together on multiple occasions

Cochise: how could you expose me like this mike

Josh wash: dude,,,,, are you,,, fortnite cheating on me

Cochise: babe,,,,, its nothing personal,,,,,,,, its just,,,,,, that good fortnite kush,, 

Mikey boy: hmm whats that smell Im sniffing  
Mikey boy: oh wait  
Mikey boy: its The Gay

Josh wash: dam mike  
Josh wash: u sniffing yourself?

Mikey boy: binch,,,,,

Josh wash: hey wait  
Josh wash: u said u didnt know how to play fortnite  
Josh wash: but then u said u and chris play it  
Josh wash: what is the truth michael

Cochise: he caught u lol

Mikey boy: josh,,,,, its not what you think i swear

Josh wash: then what is it mike  
Josh wash: bc from the looks of it  
Josh wash: u and chris are both fortnite cheating on me  
Josh wash: with each other  
Josh wash: u fucking heathens

Mikey boy: josh,,,,, wait,,

Josh wash: no  
Josh wash: I dont want to hear any more of your lies mike 

Cochise: Hello yes 911?  
Cochise: I am actively witnessing a murder

Mikey boy: chris  
Mikey boy: u do realize he snatched ur weave too

Cochise: darn  
Cochise: Josh how could you

Josh wash: how could you fortnite cheat on me  
Josh wash: huh cochise

Cochise: bro pls

Josh wash: I dont wanna hear it thot 

Cochise: :(

Mikey boy: Josh  
Mikey boy: u made the boy sad  
Mikey boy: how fuckin could you

Josh wash: how do u think I feel  
Josh wash: I just found out I was being fortnite cheated on by two of my best friends

Egg sucker is now online

Egg sucker: dudes  
Egg sucker: its literally two in the effing morning and u guys are blowing up my phone  
Egg sucker: please,, I just wanna sleep in peace

Josh wash: ash cant u see were having an important discussion

Egg sucker: about fortnite?

Josh wash: yes

Egg sucker: at two in the morning?

Cochise: what did u expect honestly

Egg sucker: you got me there  
Egg sucker: but seriously  
Egg sucker: yall better go to bed soon or I will take your toes

Mikey boy: Im sorry  
Mikey boy: youll whAT

Egg sucker: you heard me

Mikey boy: Im actually terrified right now

Egg sucker: good

Cochise: ashley please dont take our toes

Egg sucker: too late  
Egg sucker: Im already on my way to snatch ur toes

Cochise: ash please  
Cochise: I need my toes 

Josh wash: who would I be without my toes

Mikey boy: dam thats deep

Josh wash: this is so sad  
Josh wash: can we get two likes 

Mikey boy: we live in a society

Cochise: we live in a toe snatching society 

Egg sucker: crunch on them toes

Mikey boy: i,,,,,,,  
Mikey boy: I dont know anymore,,,

Josh wash: am I allowed to kink shame ashley yet

Egg sucker: but josh,,,  
Egg sucker: kink shaming,,,,,,  
Egg sucker: IS my kink,,

Josh wash: oh fuck

Cochise: kinky

Josh wash: oh ur one to talk

Cochise: excuse

Mikey boy: expose him josh  
Mikey boy: spill the tea

Cochise: Josh I s2g if u spill my tea

Egg sucker: josh blease  
Egg sucker: spill his kinky tea 

Josh wash: ;)

Mikey boy: j o s h

Josh wash: its not my tea to spill ;)))))

Egg sucker: ok but why the winky face 

Josh wash: Im gay what did u expect

Egg sucker: I mean  
Egg sucker: sure  
Egg sucker: but like seriously  
Egg sucker: go to bed u thots 

Josh wash: who are u  
Josh wash: my mom

Cochise: oh and you say Im the kinky one

Josh wash: shut the hell ur fuck

Cochise: ash is right tbh  
Cochise: we should sleep

Josh wash: sure ok thot 

Egg sucker: oh so u listen to chris but not me  
Egg sucker: u homophobic bastard

Josh wash: I am literally gay

Mikey boy: yall are gay

Josh wash: I mean  
Josh wash: ur not wrong 

Cochise: hah gay

Josh wash: we are actually dating u foolish disaster gay  
Josh wash: unrelated to chris being a gay  
Josh wash: I think im finna gonna hit the snooze

Mikey boy: Josh we all know ur gonna stay up till sunrise playing video games

Josh wash: ok listen I didnt come here to be called out like this 

Mikey boy: but like yea same  
Mikey boy: it be nighty night time for this thot

Cochise: me too tbh  
Cochise: good nut my good lads

Josh wash: good night gays  
Josh wash: and mike

Mikey boy: good night boys dont let the bed bugs eat ur ass

Egg sucker: UM  
Egg sucker: night tho  
Egg sucker: yall better actually go to bed or I swear ur toes will be mine 

Egg sucker is now offline 

Josh wash: see ya lads later  
Josh wash: specifically when I force u all to come over and play fortnite w me

Josh wash is now offline 

Mikey boy: mm fortnite 

Cochise: ok Im gonna pretend u didnt just say that and catch some zzzs  
Cochise: guess Ill see u at joshs fortnite party dnjsjdsm

Mikey boy: yea lmao  
Mikey boy: g night fam

Cochise: Night 

Mikey boy is now offline 

Cochise is now offline


	2. big yeehaw

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> how do i even summarize this

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok listen drnejfnfsfnusfu fortnite is mentioned in this oen too rfuindfsdhfsdu BUT THE MEXT ONE WONT i pinky promise

Vegantm is now online

Vegantm: ok I just read all those messages from last night and Im concerned for you guys

Shaped like a friend is now online 

Shaped like a friend: same honestly  
Shaped like a friend: also I have an important question for josh 

Josh wash is now online 

Josh wash: you rang?

Shaped like a friend: ok wow  
Shaped like a friend: that was fast 

Josh wash: I arrive when I am summoned matthew  
Josh wash: do you require my assistance 

Shaped like a friend: yes  
Shaped like a friend: so you know how ur a slut for fortnite

Josh wash: geez matt  
Josh wash: careful with the weave  
Josh wash: but yes go on

Shaped like a friend: can u teach me how to do orange justice 

Josh wash: can i do what

Shaped like a friend: Josh its important  
Shaped like a friend: em says I wouldnt be able to do it 

Vegantm: no offence matt but shes probably right

Shaped like a friend: I cannot believe this

Josh wash: jskajsbdj holy fuck sam  
Josh wash: since when have u been so savage 

Vegantm: I came out of the womb like this

Josh wash: we stan a queen 

Mythic bitch is now online 

Mythic bitch: Josh I swear to god if you teach him how to do orange justice 

Josh wash: but em  
Josh wash: itll be funny

Mythic bitch: you dont understand  
Mythic bitch: if he learns it he wont stop

Shaped like a friend: em please

Vegantm: teach the boy josh  
Vegantm: do it

Josh wash: ofc im going to  
Josh wash: do u think im a coward 

Mythic bitch: yes

Josh wash: bastard 

Shaped like a friend: josh thank u for my life 

Josh wash: always happy to help those in need  
Josh wash: ;)

Mythic bitch: do you understand what you just agreed to do

Josh wash: I agreed to be a good friend em  
Josh wash: unlike some people  
Josh wash: some people being you btw

Mythic bitch: you say that as if you think those petty insults bother me 

Josh wash: em im actually dying in the club rn  
Josh wash: how could you

Mythic bitch: its not my fault im such an icon

Vegantm: emily  
Vegantm: ur my queen now

Mythic bitch: as if I wasn't already 

Josh wash: emily u absolute mad lad

Shaped like a friend: em,,, I lov u,,,,,,,

Mythic bitch: I know  
Mythic bitch: love you too tho

Shaped like a friend: :)

Josh wash: ew  
Josh wash: go be straight somewhere else

Vegantm: what the hell is a straight 

Josh wash: I ask myself that everyday man

Shaped like a friend: I support u two absolute gays

Josh wash: should i be offended at that 

Vegantm: Josh u fool  
Vegantm: u should be thankful of the boys support 

Josh wash: oh fuck  
Josh wash: I cant believe I was such an actual idiot 

Vegantm: learn from ur mistakes joshua 

Josh wash: hey now  
Josh wash: the only people allowed to call me joshua is my therapist and jesus 

Shaped like a friend: what if jesus is your therapist 

Josh wash: matt if u dont mc stop im gonna have to therapisst in ur mouth 

Shaped like a friend: ur gonna what

Josh wash: no  
Josh wash: I didnt mean it  
Josh wash: please find it in ur heart to forgive me matt

Shaped like a friend: ofc u are forgiven my good pal

Josh wash: matt I fuckin,,,,,, I die  
Josh wash: what have I done to deserve you

Mythic bitch: back off bitch  
Mythic bitch: hes mine 

Shaped like a friend: :0 !!  
Shaped like a friend: em,, omg

Josh wash: matt ur a dork and ily 

Shaped like a friend: I feel so loved and validated in this chillis tonight

Vegantm: its what he deserves 

Mythic bitch: lets be real here  
Mythic bitch: matt is probably the most valid out of all of us 

Josh wash: thats tea sis

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> my brother suggested ems name to be mythic bitch so ya also i snatched the therapisst joke from him himfgnnfkdsnfjndsfkjdsn  
> also sorry this ends the way it does oof i am just,,,,,so tired and honestly? all i wanna do rn is sleep so like yea fdjfnjsdfndskjf the next one will end better hopefully,, ill try my best owo  
> thanks for reading btw i appreciate that shid yeehaw


	3. mike is a foolish

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> yeh

Michael here is now online 

Michael here: GUYS  
Michael here: GUYS PLEASE

Vegantm is now online 

Vegantm: mike what did you do this time

Michael here: I fucking  
Michael here: I got stuck

Vegantm: stuck where?

Michael here: pringels can

Vegantm: do I even wanna know what you got stuck in it or how

Michael here: chill  
Michae herel: its my arm

Vegantm: mike its not that hard to get your arm out of a pringels can

Michael here: im trying my best here sam 

Josh wash is now online

Josh wash: owo whats this ??  
Josh wash: mikey boy got his arm stuck ??

Michael here: I cant see your face rn but I can tell ur laughing at my pain

Josh wash: fuck howd you know

Michael here: josh you laugh at ur own pain so why not mine

Josh wash: tru tru  
Josh wash: also hey quick question  
Josh wash: whats w the new name

Michael here: oh youll find out

Josh wash: that sounds slightly ominous but ok

Hey vsauce is now online

Hey vsauce: hi 

Josh wash: you know what  
Josh wash: fuck you guys

Hey vsauce: youre just jealous of our amazing coupleness

Vegantm: jess is that even a word

Hey vsauce: I mean  
Hey vsauce: maybe??

Vegantm: cant argue with that I guess  
Vegantm: ok wait hold on  
Vegantm: are we just gonna ignore the fact that mike cant get his arm out of a pringels can 

Michael here: IM TRYING

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok so this is,,,,, really short and i wrote it in three seconds so its lowkey rlly bad but like hbdhcndskvnvn yea idk


	4. sppokeyyyyyyy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> yyyeyeyeyyeyeyeye

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OK I FUCKING i know halloween was yestersay bt i forgot to write this yesterday fhdkjsfkjzc,nsc,sncks

Josh wash is now online 

Josh wash: ITS TIME  
Josh wash: GUYS ITS FUCKINF TIME  
Josh wash: GUYS

Cochise is now online 

Cochise: THE TIME HAS ARRIVED 

Josh wash: YES

Cochise: FUCK YEAH

Vegantm is now online 

Vegantm: it is midnight   
Vegantm: why are you screaming

Josh wash: bc sam   
Josh wash: its time 

Cochise: its time to get fucking spookey babey!!!!!!!

Josh wash: fuck yeah !!!!!!!!!!!!

Vegantm: can you perhaps  
Vegantm: wait till its not midnight to blow up the group chat

Josh wash: clearly you do not know the extent to which me and chris go all out for the spoops

Cochise: go big or go home sam 

Michael here is now online

Michael here: spookey time 

Josh wash: spookey time

Cochise: wait guys   
Cochise: what are yalls dressing up as

Josh wash: a disappointment   
Josh wash: oh wait  
Josh wash: I dont need a costume for that

Michael here: fuckin same

Josh wash: ok no but actually   
Josh wash: me and chris are going as the ultimate couples costume   
Josh wash: minecraft steve and minecraft alex 

Vegantm: oh my god 

Michael here: you guys are fucking geniuses 

Cochise: indeed we are

Michael here: me and jess are going as wolves so we can match w wolfie

Josh wash: haha   
Josh wash: u fuckin furries 

Michael here: hey now

Josh wash: ur an all star

Michael here: ya know  
Michael here: fuck off

Josh wash: you can silence me but you cant silence smash mouth 

Michael here: how am I supposed to even respond to that

Cochise: just follow your heart mike 

Vegantm: ok this conversation took a weird turn

Michael here: it really do be like that 

Egg sucker is now online 

Egg sucker: heard you thotties are talking about halloween without me  
Egg sucker: and to think  
Egg sucker: I thought we were friends 

Josh wash: the salt is strong with this one

Egg sucker: you talk about halloween without me and expect me to not be salty?  
Egg sucker: foolish

Cochise: oh damb

Josh wash: oh no my feelings 

Vegantm: who needs feelings when you can just like  
Vegantm: be so numb that you cant feel anything anymore

Michael here: sam are you ok

Vegantm: I dont know  
Vegantm: am I 

Michael here: fuck man  
Michael here: I dont know

Egg sucker: not to change the subject from sams dead insideness  
Egg sucker: but like guys  
Egg sucker: what if I went as a crayon

Josh wash: iconic  
Josh wash: do it ash

Cochise: please do that omg

Egg sucker: ok im forcing u guys to come get the costume with me

Vegantm: are you implying that its halloween and you dont have a costume yet

Egg sucker: thats not not what im implying

Michael here: guys  
Michael here: idea  
Michael here: group halloween store trip

Josh wash: YES PLEASE 

Cochise: fuck yea

Vegantm: I mean im down

Egg sucker: hehehhehe fuck ueah  
Egg sucker: halloween store trip boisssssss

Josh wash: yeah boyeee

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorryisuck at endings but yeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyyeye halloween babeyyyeyeyeyeyeyeye


	5. t e e t h

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> i dont knwo man i had like twenty breakdowns today and now this????? idk

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im sorry in advance

Cochise is now online

Cochise: yall  
Cochise: someone better fucking get online in the next three seconds or I will implode 

Josh wash is now online 

Josh wash: maybe dont implode bro

Cochise: I will if I do not say this right now

Josh wash: oh please do continue

Cochise: so youre aware of teeth correct?

Josh wash: I wish I wasnt but yes

Cochise: and finger nails 

Josh wash: christopher fucking hartley please do not say what I think ur gonna say

Cochise: what if people had teeth for finger nails and finger nails for teeth

Josh wash: thats exactly what I thought you were gonna say

Egg sucker is now online

Egg sucker: WHAT THE FUCK

Cochise: tooth paste would just be nail polish   
Cochise: oh my god guys  
Cochise: teeth polish   
Cochise: NAIL PASTE 

Josh wash: HEY SWEETY HONEY DARLING LIGHT OF MY FUCKING LIFE  
Josh wash: I BEG YOUR ACTUAL FUCKING PARDON

Egg sucker: chris im fucking crying  
Egg sucker: why would u say that

Cochise: guys just think about it

Egg sucker: I really dont want to

Cochise: but youre thinking about it  
Cochise: were talking about it  
Cochise: thats a win in my book 

Josh wash: chris I swear to god   
Josh wash: please stop

Cochise: would the finger teeth be hard like normal teeth or the same kinda,,,, flavor of nails 

Josh wash: why the fuck are you saying these things

Egg sucker: I know we have all said some very cursed things in this group chat  
Egg sucker: but this is fucking terrifying

Josh wash: is this a cry for help   
Josh wash: I feel like this is a cry for help  
Josh wash: a very fucked up one at that

Egg sucker: do u see no irony in that or

Cochise: josh do you not recall anything about your  
Cochise: what did you call it again  
Cochise: prank

Josh wash: it was just a prank bro

Egg sucker: more like some really fucked up porn  
Egg sucker: wait fuck  
Egg sucker: is that what you meant by party like porn stars

Josh wash: thats not not what I meant

Cochise: josh quick question  
Cochise: and please answer as truthfully as possible   
Cochise: how the genuine fuck do you think porn stars party 

Josh wash: um pretending to get sawed in half and try to fake murder your friends???  
Josh wash: lmao what kinda fuckin question?????

Egg sucker: the fact that I honestly cant tell if ur joking or not is concerning

Cochise: everything about this conversation is concerning 

Josh wash: oh yeah  
Josh wash: coming from mr teeth polish over here

Cochise: bitch

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> also hi this was inspired by a convo me and my bf had bc we have some totally normal conversations


	6. Bapy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Based on yhat twitter thread where u text ur boyf u wanna baby bc im not original

Cochise is now online 

Cochise: babe  
Cochise: get online  
Cochise: i gotta tell you smth

Josh wash is now online

Josh wash: yeess?

Cochise: i want a baby

Josh wash: like,,, a human infant?

Cochise: yes

Josh wash: alright   
Josh wash: flavor preference?

Cochise: human

Josh wash: human works  
Josh wash: ill let my guys know

Cochise: jsjsjdkd ok i was just goofing but like wtf?  
Cochise: your guys???

Josh wash: im offended  
Josh wash: you act as if i dont know how to achieve a child

Cochise: how,, in your words,,, would one achieve a child??

Josh wash: i mean people leave babies in shopping carts all the time  
Josh wash: you just gotta be able to bolt if things go south

Cochise: i immediately regret asking

Josh wash: thats understandable

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Im very tire d n onkinda forgot i wrote this till three swconds ago so here it be aldo sorry its so short :((((


	7. You know like nya

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I love crimes and so does josh apparently

Meth is now online

Meth: I am going to kill my brother

Vegantm is now online 

Vegantm: what did he do this time

Josh wash is now online 

Josh wash: shHhhHH  
Josh wash: snitches get stitches beth

Meth: this bitCH

Vegantm: Josh what did you do??????

Meth: HE FUCKINF  
Meth: lol jk mr joshua has done no harm

Vegantm: what????? Since when do you call him that??????

Meth: since forever u silly go  
Meth: that bitch

Vegantm: I'm so confused 

Meth: he stole my phone  
Meth: wanna know what else he stole

Josh wash: I was framed

Meth: he fucking stole the neighbors cat

Vegantm: WHAT  
Vegantm: WHY

Meth: so josh comes home last night  
Meth: absolutely shit faced  
Meth: and I'm like yeah alright whatever  
Meth: then the next morning this random ass cat tries knocking my coffee cup over

Josh wash: alright listen   
Josh wash: I can explain  
Josh wash: it was an accident

Vegantm: how the do you accidentally steal a cat??????

Josh wash: drugs are wild man

Vegantm: you were doing drugs???????

Josh wash: no  
Josh wash: not yet at least  
Josh wash: everyday I get closer to the edge

Meth: please do explain why what and most importantly whY

Josh wash: we all know how i get when i drink ok

Meth: i mean yes but wh

Josh wash: it came up to me and it was judt   
Josh wash: so fucking soft

Meth: that doesnt mean you have to steal a fuCKING CAT

Josh wash: if u were there you would understand 

Vegantm: Josh please tell me you're gonna return it

Josh wash: I'll consider it


	8. yum ;)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> My mom said smth real cursed when she offered me a dorito n I had gum time so uH then i wrote this thanks mom

Hey vsauce is now online 

Hey vsauce: anyone know how to perform an exorcism?  
Hey vsauce: I think michaels fucking possessed

Matthew patthew is now online

Matthew patthew: is he okay??

Hey vsauce: no  
Hey vsauce: he was chewing gum and I was eating doritos  
Hey vsauce: and he fucking takes a dorito and eats it  
Hey vsauce: with the fucking gum still in his mouth

Matthew patthew: oh god?????

Michael here is now online 

Michael here: matt listen  
Michael here: you too jess lemme explain 

Hey vsauce: it better be good

Michael here: it gives it texture 

Matthew patthew: thats the exact opposite of good

Hey vsauce: mike I want a divorce 

Michael here: we're not married????

Hey vsauce: and this is why

Michael here: :((

Hey vsauce: jk I love u

Michael here: :))

Matthew patthew: aww

**Author's Note:**

> uhhhhh thanks for reading fnjsbfskd im lowkey working on some more vld shit so like yea idk if anyone cares whoops hudshd tbh idk if im gonna write another chapter of this oof i probably will tho


End file.
